Adapted from Bangitout.com Illustrated by John Klossner

10. King Ahashverosh hosts the hit reality show "What Not to Wear" and invites Queen Vashti as his first contestant.

9. The king's ministers, looking for the most beautiful women throughout 127 provinces, dispatch e-mails demanding that recipients "forward this letter to ten friends," and warning: "DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN."

8. Esther meets the other girls in the harem on "The Real World: Shushan" and is chosen queen by millions of loyal MTV fans.

7. Mordechai uses the video camera in his iPhone to film Bigtan and Teresh plotting to kill the king, and Shushan TV broadcasts the images thousands of times every day.

6. A firm believer in the philosophy "You gotta play to win," Haman picks the fateful date to annihilate the Jews while on local cable TV, appearing briefly between reruns of "Seinfeld" and "Channel 9 News."

5. Esther's three-day fast outrages the U.S. Surgeon General, who strenly warns that everyone MUST eat at least ten fruits and grains each day.

4. To protect the king and Haman from hordes of paparazzi, Esther hires bodyguards to patrol her private feast.

3. Nike offers Mordechai a multimillion dollar contract to wear their sneakers when Haman leads him through town on the king's horse.

2. Haman's execution is posted on YouTube.

1. Esther runs for president.